Valentine

One of my submissions that didn't get picked up this time. Lady is Character Constructions. Catherine Moore also has a new line of stamps out that is just amazing. It's called Queen of Tarts. Great collection.

The light is coming on

Oh, my baby, we will prove them all wrong. It can be done. It will be done. We will take one another to places never thought possible.This little light of mine I'm going to let it shine
Oh, this little light of mine I'm going to let it shine
Hallelujah
This little light of mine I'm going to let it shine
Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine

My miracle child

Just look at that happy face.

Miracles do happen here and will continue to happen.

I am full of emotion today. I am tired of people coming into my house and telling me things I don't want to hear or need to hear. We have worked so hard. In August of this year Taylor had lost almost all her words. Pretty much silence. In 4 months she is requesting her favorite foods with words, saying hi/bye/night night appropriately, doing puzzles, building with blocks, swinging, sliding, climbing on the balance beam, laughing, tolerating playdoh for a minute or so, responding much better to (quiet) strangers entering her safe house, playing Mr. Potato Head, crafting with foam stickers, etc. Not to mention she knows most of her ABCs, numbers 1-10, colors, approximately 30 animals and has every book in this house memorized. I can give her 2 or 3 puzzles at once, dump out all the pieces and she will sort through and do them all. She is also acquiring labels naturally- without being formally taught each one through discrete trial. In formal terms this is called generalization and she is very capable of doing this. We didn't have to teach generalization which means she is slowly moving to learning the way "typical" kids learn. Socialization with other children is still one of our toughest obstacles but she is still very young. She can't stand loud kids. Well, I'm not very good at that either so we have something in common.

So these therapists come into my home and tell me Taylor's delays will always be with her. WHAT?!!! She is so on-target if not ahead academically. Yes, we have social things and communication to work on but come on people. They talk of group homes, etc. They have NO idea where we started and what road we have taken. I try to explain and they look at me like I'm talking a foreign language. They don't believe me. I'm in the process of making them a movie of what Taylor was doing 4 months ago. I feel compelled to prove it to them. I tell them the puzzle completion started with me doing one piece (my hand over hers) and then rewarding her with an M&M after each piece. Yes, it was hard at first. Yes, she screamed, hit me, and threw herself around like a wild animal. BUT, guess what?! Her puzzles are now one of her very favorite things. And it was really never about the puzzles. It was all about getting her to focus long enough to complete something - focus long enough to learn. Some days I think we have a little ADHD mixed in all this but that's okay too. The typical therapists have no idea how ABA works but seem to not want to learn. The key is ABA needs to be done properly in order to work. There were days we did formal sitdown sessions on and off ALL DAY LONG. That's what the professionals mean when they say intense 1:1 therapy. They don't mean do a couple things and then let her stim for 15 minutes. We do no stimming around here. It is ALL redirected. ALL OF IT. Yes, I'm tired but my kid needs saved. Who the hell else is going to do it?

Basically it's going to work like this. With direction from our ABA therapist Taylor WILL be saved. ABA is what gave her a strong foundation to learn. If any person involved in her life doesn't want to jump on board well then back off----my little girl and I will run you over.

Peace.

RubberStampMadness Jan/Feb 2008

My "King Ribbit" card made it into the latest issue of RubberStampMadness. Had a lot of fun with this one. It's pretty much straight forward stamping with a spotlight drawn in with chalk.

Frog is Eat Cake Graphics. Chair is Character Constructions. Grass, flowers, and alphas are Purple Onion Designs.

Thanks for looking!

Merry Xmas!

Just a quick post to wish all of you a Merry Xmas.

This card was made for my secret sister. We had each other's names and she totally spoiled me! You know who you are. :)

Character Constructions Xmas cards

Thought I'd revive this blog for a moment by posting a couple Christmas cards. Only had time for a couple. Doll parts are Character Constructions and sentiment is Purple Onion Designs.

Hope you are having a peaceful holiday season.

Crusade No. 14 - Who/what is your muse?

This month's (I'm barely making it) Green Pepper Press Street Team's topic is Imaginary Friends. Basically who/what is your muse? What inspires your artwork?

Well, since I don't consider myself a true artist I really haven't given this topic much thought until now. I had some trouble with this one and then one day it just dawned on me.

Stress--- stress---and more stress.

Maybe it's not a typical muse but I've created most of my published cards/projects under stress. When I am worried about someone/something I can throw myself into my paper, ink, stamps, etc and forget all about it for a brief time. Therapy for Momma. :) Pretty simple really. Maybe it should be called an escape instead of a muse but it works for me.

I'll leave you with a little creation for my ABA therapist. She does totally ROCK. Stamps are Green Pepper Press. Sweet stamps, huh?

Let's talk about the system

It stinks.

Okay----here's how it goes. You get referred for a complete developmental evaluation. You wait 4-6 months for your official appointment to diagnosis your child (sometimes longer---I've heard up to a year in Philadelphia). Birth-3 comes earlier but these kids need intensive therapy. It's not near enough.

You wait longer to get wraparound services. You have to have all these meetings, pick an agency, etc.

So basically you wait over 6 months to get intensive therapy started. So if we hadn't met a gal who knows Lovaas ABA we'd still be in a state of complete panic.

I've said it before. We got lucky. We have made huge strides and it's because of ABA.

So what is wrong with this picture. The typical family has just wasted 6 months of CRUCIAL development time. Time to remap the brain and get on that upswing.

This is the time you hear parents talk about---the time they see their kids "slipping away."

Sad, huh? No not sad------------------horrific.

President veto

You can check it out here.-----I guess some still don't view this as a crisis.

http://aliedwards.typepad.com/_a_/2007/11/veto-impacts-au.html

It's official

We are offically on the spectrum---PDD-NOS to be exact.

Pervasive Developmental Disorder- Not Otherwise specified----translated into "we know there's something up with your kid but we don't know what exactly so we'll put her in this catch-all category." The good part is we do have the label so we will possibly qualify for more services.


I really don't feel like sharing my emotions today. There are some days I'm just overwhelmed and don't feel like explaining everything. Today is one of those days.

The psychologist will recommend 15 hours of wraparound therapy done in our house (in addition to the 4 therapists we have already). The psychologist seems to think we will be denied and will have to appeal to get the therapy. Joy. Isn't that sweet? I guess in Washington county they don't like to approve services for kids under 3 years old. By 3 years old it's so much more difficult to "catch up." So unfair.


We make strides every day but until you've had a child with these challenges you'll truly never know what it feels like to be part of that 1 in 150--to watch your kid struggle with things that come so easy for other children.

She is just such a smart and sweet kid.

She doesn't deserve this and it sucks.

Tomorrow----it ain't no big thang really................

Tomorrow is our official evaluation with the Child Development Unit of Children's Hospital in Pittsburgh. I look back at all the emotions surrounding this appointment and I'm finally in the correct state of mind. I've been all over the place emotionally with the appointment----everywhere from panic to dread to apprehension, etc. When we were first referred I couldn't wait for tomorrow to arrive. Then we met someone who has forever changed our lives. An amazing person who truly cares about kids and will go above and beyond. She literally trained me to be an ABA therapist to my daughter. WE GOT LUCKY. We were in a very dangerous place. You know that place you hear about on talk shows---"she was slipping away right before our very eyes"-----you watch any talk show about autism or any developmental disorder and you'll hear those words and dear God do I feel for those people. It was quickly happening here. I know Taylor's mind was making misconnections daily. I'm absolutely positive that was happening. We caught it in time and we are remapping as we speak and folks guess what?!!!! It's working. It's working. I know there are some people who think if we wait and see she will just come along in her own time. WEll, this momma can tell you that would've never happened and that's one risk in life Mark and I are NOT willing to take. Mothers ALWAYS know. ALWAYS. Her behavior was alarming and made me uncomfortable inside. If any mothers out there are experiencing the same feelings then you push your pediatrician to refer you on-----you PUSH like you've never pushed before. Your child is counting on you to do so.

I think back to filling out all those daunting blue forms we were sent when we first made THE appointment. I think about all those questions I answered. I am taking a different kid tomorrow. We have plenty to work on and many obstacles but they are being checked off one by one. I remember Early Intervention coming and asking me how I wanted our family social goal to be written----I simply replied, "I just wanna go out to a restaurant or store without a huge screaming struggle. I just want to be a family." That's it. Simple, right? Well it took a lot of work. We have been successfully out to eat twice in 2 weeks and to Walmart twice in 3 days. We have conquered the grocery cart----along with the sliding board and swings and trampoline. HUGE sensory progress folks. We will continue to work on playdoh, elevators, hair dryers, strangers, vacuum cleaners, loud environments, etc.

ABA therapy (done correctly) has changed our lives. Seriously. It is working for Taylor. It may not work for all kids but it is working here. She is feeling success. That is what it's all about -- her success which has quadrupled her confidence. She is so much happier now. Less frustrated with daily life---still frustrated with trying new things but we can work through it. She is so proud of herself when she makes progress. She knows. We still have a few bad days here and there but we won't focus on those right now. She's only 2 years old.

Soooo---this family still struggles and does tremendous amounts of therapy but we also trick-or-treat, go to the grocery store, do puzzles, read, jump on the trampoline, write, play chase, eat popsicles, watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, do more puzzles, hop, eat in restaurants, and many more typical family things.

So ya see tomorrow won't be a day to remember-----August 21, 2007------now that's the day to remember. That's the day we began ABA therapy and the day my child turned a very important corner----the corner of SUCCESS.

YIPPIE!!!!!!!!

Today Taylor was nearing the end of her yogurt and she looked at me and said "help" as plain as day!

Yesterday she went to the kitchen and said, "wa wa."

We are getting past the sensory blocks day by day with the trampoline and tunnel and bean bag and brushing and on and on. She is learning incidentally after I repeatedly say the same word in the same context day after day!!!

Yep----we are gonna be okay eventually. Okay is good. It's gonna click.

Impressive progress

Thought I'd fill in ya in on Taylor's progress. I know there are quite a few friends and family reading this blog these days.

Our "typical" week here consists of 4 therapists and constant sensory and ABA therapy pretty much done by me. Under the direction of our ABA therapist who comes once a week and does updates/therapy we have implemented an ABA program that seems to be really working for Taylor. I have an entire notebook full of data. I do ABA therapy with Taylor spontaneously throughout the day and in actual sit-down sessions. We are acquiring more and more skills so we not only do new things but we also have to map out time for review. It's an all-day affair which is fine with me because the more she sits and works the less time there is for shadow play. Early Intervention therapists also come to the house and I find ways to incorporate things they are doing into our day. The trick is finding the way to present it. Taylor learns in different ways. All it takes is finding what clicks. It can be tricky or it can just occur incidentally. I notice more and more incidental learning which is huge!

I have taught her to imitate. Our ABA gal says if a kid can imitate they can learn anything. Maybe it will take us a bit more time but it'll come.

I truly believe that we caught her early enough to turn this whole thing around in a couple years or so. I know it won't be easy and we'll still have to teach things in different ways. We live, breathe and eat therapy but that's what it takes. I will not be a parent who sits back and just lets it be--not judging others - we have fortunate circumstances working in our favor here. It won't always be this tough but we just have to suck it up for now. Forcing your 2 year old to do things isn't easy but she'll thank me later. If we would have just "waited to see" what happened we would be in BAD shape right now. These kids have to be caught early. Catching it early gives time to remap the brain.

WEll---our appointment with Children's Hospital is 2 weeks away now. I have no idea what they will say. I am taking a different child to that appointment now. She has changed so much. We still have tons to work on (especially unfamiliar people and places) but she has changed for the better with all this therapy. All the therapists are a little in awe at what we are accomplishing in this house with ABA. I think we've made believers out of a couple of people who weren't so much in favor of the process. I have no idea what the professionals will say because I'm sure most people go into that appointment without ABA therapy behind them. We have been working extremely hard for 2 months. We just got lucky and was sent the right person at the right time. Funny how that works.

WEll, off to review my "lesson plan" while Taylor is napping. I map out a lesson plan each night for the next day. It works. It is my job now and that's totally cool. I'm armed with the knowledge and tools to save my little girl and that's EXACTLY what I'm gonna do. :)

Peace.

age 2

This is Taylor on her second birthday. Cute as always.

I reflect back to this time and I realize how far we've progressed in 2.5 months. At this point all we were doing was stacking blocks, reading books and watching TV. She is doing so many different things now. There's great hope for her future.

Materials used--mostly Daisy Ds except for the flowers which are Heidi Swapp. Don't ya just love that pink paper? It's part of their fall line I think---odd but if you'd see the entire pack of paper it just fits.

Happy Wednesday!

RubberStampMadness/childhood

Made it into the latest issue of RSM. Look at that cover. How do those cover artists come up with this stuff? That's all stamping!

That story at the end of the article takes me back a few years to a different way of life. My childhood was a little different than most. We were by today's standards considered to be low income/poor. My parents had me young. My Mom was the ripe old age of 19. They started a life with nothing and a colicky kid to raise. We may not have had an excess of money but I wouldn't trade it for the world. We raised all our own vegetables. My Dad worked a difficult manual labor job all day and came home to spend the evening tending to a garden and mowing grass. We never spent an evening indoors in the summer. We socialized with the neighbors each and every night because we were all outside. We had 2 TV stations. I think this is why I can read so fast. Books replaced TV. lol. We lived in trailer which my Mom kept so clean you could've literally ate off the floor at any time. We took our laundry to "town" once a week to the laundry mat. Santa coming was a huge deal because toys weren't casually purchased weekly as it goes today (incidentally-- I was sick every Christmas. I swear it was due to excitement). We ate dinner as a family EVERY night. We appreciated everything more. Kinda sad the direction society is going in these days. Such hustle and bustle and inattention to what is really important.

Ohhh, gotta tell ya about the laundry mat---well, that was my first brush with the Hare Krishna community. The Krishnas were big in our area back then. The temple was being built and they had visitors from all over. They were in full swing. They would come to the laundry mat in their vans in full garb. White sheets, bald head, pony tail--the works. Now you can imagine as a kid whose highlight of the laundry trip was Welch's grape soda and corn chips this scene was quite fascinating. My Mom would tell me not to stare. Come on---how could I not??? Was nothing to see them chanting outside the Kroger store. They were also always at the tail end of the Christmas parade. I remember them parading their elephant past our junior high school and throwing candy at the windows to the kids. Recruiting I guess. I wonder what it's like up there now. You don't hear much about them anymore. Not judging a different way of life or anything--how people live is their personal business--- but they sure did stick out in good old Marshall county where different is not always tolerated.

Enough about the ole days. Life sure has changed. I'm just not so sure it's changed for the better. Do you eat dinner with your family each night and actually TALK to one another?

pumpkin patch 2007

Nothing screams fall like a trip to the pumpkin patch. I love this time of year. The changing of each season is pretty cool but fall is just full of the most beautiful colors. Mark's work sponsors this little trip each year to Simmon's Farm. I think that's pretty cool too. I'm a week late posting this but better late than never.

To some this is a simple fun day at the pumpkin patch. To us - well - it was a great success. There are several sensory issues presented at the patch. Walking on uneven ground, the shaky hayride, the corn all the kids were playing in to name a few. Taylor did fantastic. The corn the kids were playing in was just plain gross and dirty so I don't blame her for not wanting in that mess. The ride out to the patch was just fine--held her close and she did okay. The ride back she cried but I found it a bit rough and fast myself. She walked on the uneven ground in the corn maze holding Daddy's hand and was just a champ! We also had the advantage of our ABA therapist friend going with us. She is just at the top of my list of favorite people right now. Without her I would have no idea how to help my child. I just love her and her son. Great people I tell ya.

We came home and Taylor was ready for a nap. I was rocking her and I stared straight into those gorgeous brown eyes and told her how proud I was of her and what a great job she did that morning. I was presented with a huge toothy grin. Without a doubt she knew exactly what I said that afternoon. Priceless.

Crusade No. 13- Get Gothic

The theme for Michelle Ward's Green Pepper Press Street Team crusade this month is Get Gothic. Share your Halloween creations/decor etc. I really had a good time creating Halloween cards this year. Usually I just send them to the kids but I had some cool stamps to work with this year.

On this first card I used a danger sticker from the new Martha Stewart line. I don't care for most of her craft stuff but her Halloween line was very cool. Swirl stamps from Green Pepper Press, skull baby from Stamp Francisco I think, bat from Stamps by Judith, and skull from Inkadinkado.

This next creation I submitted to RubberStampMadness but it didn't make the cut. Oh well. All the cirque people are from The Tattered Circus, circles from Purple Onion Designs, and the bars they are sitting on are Paperbag Studios.

The card below uses a sticker for the focal point. Warning sticker is Martha Stewart and the other stickers are Daisy Ds and Making Memories. The funky laced type border stamp at the top is Stampers Anonymous, circle stamp is Moon Rose, spider is Savvy Stamps I think either that or Amuse, added bling with Stickles glitter glue.

The next uses another Martha sticker and a sticker for the focal point. Cat was cut from DaisyDs patterned paper, Daisy Ds black cat rubon, bat is Stamps by Judith, houndstooth border is BLine Designs.

The next creation uses almost all Marth stuff. Haunted stickers are DaisyDs and the background paper is from the latest issue of Somerset Studio. Rest is Martha.

Last--- a simple creation on a dollar spot card from Target. Spooky word is Purple Onion Designs, Frankenstein is Amuse I believe, moon is a section of the Moon Rose stamp used above on the Pumpkin Patch card.

That's it folks!!!! Have a Happy Halloween season.

Tough phase

We've entered a difficult phase in the Infantino household. Taylor has figured out we will not allow her to play in her reflection all day instead of learning. She is most unhappy about this fact. She takes off and tries to sneak. She sees me coming and quickly stops and gives me an "ehh" in a most annoyed tone. That simple "ehh" was how it started a couple days ago and now we are at full fledge tantrums, hitting, etc.

I think the need to "see" herself comes from the fact that she sometimes doesn't "feel" her body. The trick is to find an "acceptable" way for her to feel grounded - an "acceptable" way to meet that need. Easier said than done. For example---instead of her running back and forth and back and forth in front of her reflection for an extended period of time perhaps we could read books in her worm tunnel. The tunnel touches her on all sides therefore grounding her and she learns by reading at the same time. Problem is this will satisfy the need for a few minutes and then ya gotta think of something else. Makes for a very long difficult day. This sensory stuff is a whole new ballgame for me. I'm so tired I sleep all night and during her naps. I dream all this wild stuff too-- my mind is overloaded.

So today I saw a lot of trying to replace that need to see her reflection----rubbing her face all over me, rubbing her hair all over her face, crashing into the couch pillows all day, rubbing her chest against mine, staring at her arms and hands, etc. Once again you gotta keep this kid busy ALL DAY. We are doing better with that since we now know how to use more toys. It's very difficult when you first begin because if a child doesn't know how to play with toys then what the heck are you gonna replace all this behavior with?! It's step by step by step and it's difficult.

Some of you reading this may think that playing in your reflection is a normal thing----well, not all day. It then prohibits learning and becomes the primary focus of the day. Unacceptable.

Occupational therapy offically began this week. Taylor did well for her first visit. She was able to put her hands and feet all through a container filled with beans. She was also able to tolerate pulling objects out of therapy puddy. Therapy puddy is stiffer than playdoh. It's a step toward playdoh. I think Taylor would rather eat liver than play with playdoh at this point. She runs from me if I get the playdoh out. This explains a little why Taylor is such a neat eater. We do not like stuff on our hands or face. Think about your hands being sticky from syrup and multiply that by a thousand--that's how Taylor feels when her hands are messy. We will begin brush therapy next visit. It is done every 2 hours for 2 weeks and then I think the frequency tapers off. You brush their arms, legs, hands, feet and back and then apply pressure to the joints. She explained the whole process better. Think about how great you feel when you've had a massage. That's a good comparison. You feel grounded, relaxed and more in tune with your body. That's what brush therapy should eventually do for Taylor. I can tell you it she won't like it much at first but she'll eventually desensitize to the whole process just like everything else.

Taylor has a lot of sensory issues that affect daily life. She despises vacuum cleaners, hair dryers, loud toilets in public restrooms, hand dryers, etc. They are annoying to the average person but very amplified for her. She is terrifed of them and they hurt her ears BAD. She also does not like the feeling of being in an elevator. She shakes a lot and screams when in elevators.
She also does not like to swing but we are working on that. Our ABA therapist says the therapeutic effects of swinging can last for days. She won't touch the balance beam at the Little Gym. Just think of anything that would make the average person just a little uneasy and multiply that by a thousand and you might be able to imagine how if would affect my little gal.
Once again---some of these things are normal for a kid Taylor's age but it's the DEGREE of how it affects her. These things cause great panic for her.

She is quite the mix---hypersensitive to some things (vacuum) and hyposensitive to others (feeling her body---that need to "crash" into the couch). It's all so complex and difficult to explain. I know her so well. I know pretty much how she'll react even before the situation arises. Her and I ---well, we understand one another much better these days.

Speech comes tomorrow. To leave this entry on a positive note---Taylor is beginning to imitate more of our words. They aren't initiated on her own yet or a request for something but she can make the sounds! She can imitate words in books and everyday conversation. You have to really listen sometimes and figure out what she is saying but she is trying so hard. She is so smart. If we didn't have all this sensory stuff to work through I firmly believe we'd be fine. It just affects everything. The way I understand it is if you don't feel comfortable within yourself you don't learn receptive and expressive language. We'll be fine anyway---we just work a lot harder around here.

There are days I wake up and think "dear Lord another day of this?" and there are days I wake up and think "bring it on." I am noticing more "bring it on" days---a lot more. If I have to die trying we will overcome this. There's no other acceptable path. There just isn't. I won't allow it. We are talking about my daughter here. She doesn't need to be perfect. I just want her to be happy and independent. HAPPY AND INDEPENDENT.

We will achieve both of those things. WE WILL. I promise her that daily.

Taylor thoughts

I love you.

Perfection is highly overrated and utterly ridiculous.

Thank you for trying to understand me.

Thank you for not denying that I need help.

I need fun.

I am so smart.

Daddy is loads of fun.

My mood is a reflection of yours.

I don't like sticky hands.

Lots of kids are too unpredictable for me for now. I like one on one and quiet. Maybe that will change or not.

I can't stand loudness and chaos. It makes me frantic inside.

I will conquer the swings. I mastered the sliding board, didn't I?

I am so cute.

I will continue to surprise you daily.

I don't feel comfortable in my body yet but I will and then I will talk to you A LOT. I have to feel comfortable first and then I will learn more.

I love ice cream - just like Daddy.

I prefer soda over water. Could you adjust that please??

I like your hair.

Thanks for turning off the TV so I can learn more. I would watch it all day.

I am like the other kids but I'm much more special.

I don't like crayons. I like ink pens.

Thanks for working with me all day. I would prefer to play in my reflection but I'll take you.

I will give you kisses any time you ask. This is your reward. Cherish it.

Now you know your priorities- without a doubt.

Hug me close when I feel uneasy in public.

I love my dog. She's funny and I love giggling when she runs around the kitchen.

Sleep at any time possible. I have lots of energy-more than most.

I am very persistent, just like you.

I teach you much more than you teach me.

I will want a drink of anything you drink.

Home is my sanctuary.

I have a hard time feeling my feet in strange places so slow down.

I love crashing into pillows.

Thank you for teaching me to play with my toys.

I am stubborn, just like you.

I love music.

Quit analyzing my behavior and just be with me.

Help me and I will help you.

Unfamiliar places are too much. Take me back a little at a time or I will show you my displeasure.

Life is just that--life. It is imperfect.

Sometimes you just gotta get through the day and call it a night.

You are much more grounded because of me.

There are days I will bring you to your knees.

My accomplishments are huge. HUGE.

We play by an adjusted set of rules. :)

Once again----I will teach you much more than you teach me.

Love and Peace
Taylor

Ink blot Halloween characters

Thought I would share the last of my ink blot characters. The second isn't really my style but it's for the kiddos so I didn't want to get too scary. lol.

I won Michelle Ward's Street Team crusade! So cool.

We are doing okay around here. Taylor has a little cold. Other than that just normal therapy stuff and everyday life. I have quite a few Halloween creations to share and a few Taylor layouts so be sure to check back soon.

Peace.